I wonder

I see teenage girls around. And I wonder what life is like for them. And I lust, not after them, but to be them. To be pretty, to be wanted... to live as much in the moment as many of them seem to.

I don't want to give the impression of being sad or depressed - most of the time, that's not the case at all. But there is a frequent yearning for something that wasn't, and that yearning is difficult to satisfy.

Introduction

Hello! I'm Keeley Tiffany Carter. Or, rather, I'd like to be. I dream of being. In some ways, I am.

I think I'm not unique. Uncool as a teenage. Coping with a complex and shifting sexuality that didn't settle into any of the available boxes. Viewing teenage girls and boys alike with a mixture of envy and desire.

I always wanted to be one of the cool, in, kids. More than that, I always wanted to be one of the cool hip girls. Unfortunately, I was born with the wrong genitalia, and the wrong personality.

The internet changes that. I can be what I want to be. This isn't anything to do, really, with real teenagers. In fact, if anyone stumbles upon this, or the companion fictional site ( keeleyfication.blogspot.co.uk ) and thinks, incorrectly, that it's a place for real teens, then you're sadly mistaken.

Sadly for both of us.